A Slip Under the Microscope
By H. G. Wells
OUTSIDE the laboratory windows was a watery-grey fog, and
within a close
warmth and the yellow light of the green-
shaded gas lamps that stood two
to each table down its narrow
length. On each table stood a couple of
glass jars containing the
mangled vestiges of the crayfish, mussels,
frogs, and guinea-pigs,
upon which the students had been working, and down
the side of
the room, facing the windows, were shelves bearing bleached
dis-
sections in spirits, surmounted by a row of beautifully executed
anatomical drawings in whitewood frames and overhanging a row
of cubical
lockers. All the doors of the laboratory were panelled
with blackboard,
and on these were the half-erased diagrams of
the previous day s work. The
laboratory was empty, save for the
demonstrator, who sat near the
preparation-room door, and silent,
save for a low, continuous murmur, and
the clicking of the rocker
microtome at which he was working. But
scattered about the
room were traces of numerous students : hand-bags,
polished boxes
of instruments, in one place a large drawing covered by a
news-
paper, and in another a prettily bound copy of News from Nowhere
a book oddly at variance with its
surroundings. These things
had been put down hastily as the students had
arrived and hurried
at once to secure their seats in the adjacent lecture
theatre.
Deadened
Deadened by the closed door, the measured accents of the professor
sounded
as a featureless muttering.
Presently, faint through the closed windows came the sound
of the Oratory
clock striking the hour of eleven. The clicking of
the microtome ceased,
and the demonstrator looked at his watch,
rose, thrust his hands into his
pockets, and walked slowly down
the laboratory towards the lecture theatre
door. He stood listen-
ing for a moment, and then his eye fell on the
little volume by
William Morris. He picked it up, glanced at the title,
smiled,
opened it, looked at the name on the fly-leaf, ran the leaves
through with his hand, and put it down. Almost immediately
the even
murmur of the lecturer ceased, there was a sudden burst
of pencils
rattling on the desks in the lecture theatre, a stirring, a
scraping of
feet, and a number of voices speaking together. Then
a firm footfall
approached the door, which began to open, and
stood ajar, as some
indistinctly heard question arrested the new
comer.
The demonstrator turned, walked slowly back past the micro-
tome, and left
the laboratory by the preparation-room door. As
he did so, first one, and
then several students carrying notebooks,
entered the laboratory from the
lecture theatre and distributed them-
selves among the little tables, or
stood in a group about the door-
way. They were an exceptionally
heterogeneous assembly, for while
Oxford and Cambridge still recoil from
the blushing prospect of
mixed classes, the College of Science anticipated
America in the
matter years ago—mixed socially, too, for the
prestige of the
College is high and its scholarships, free of any age
limit, dredge
deeper even than do those of the Scotch universities. The
class
numbered one-and-twenty, but some remained in the theatre
questioning the professor, copying the blackboard diagrams before
they
were washed off, or examining the special specimens he had
produced
produced to illustrate the day’s teaching. Of the nine who had
come into the
laboratory three were girls, one of whom, a little
fair woman, wearing
spectacles and dressed in greyish-green, was
peering out of the window at
the fog, while the other two, both
wholesome-looking, plain-faced
schoolgirls, unrolled and put on
the brown holland aprons they wore while
dissecting. Of the
men, two went down the laboratory and sat down in their
places,
one, a pallid, dark-bearded man, who had once been a tailor ; the
other a pleasant-featured, ruddy young man of twenty, dressed in
a
well-fitting brown suit ; young Wedderburn, the son of
Wedderburn the eye
specialist. The others formed a little knot
near the theatre door. One of
these, a dwarfed, spectacled figure,
with a hunch back, sat on a bent wood
stool ; two others, one a
short, dark youngster, and the other a
flaxen-haired, reddish-
complexioned young man, stood leaning side by side
against the
slate sink, while the fourth stood facing them, and maintained
the
larger share of the conversation.
This last person was named Hill. He was a sturdily built
young fellow, of
the same age as Wedderburn ; he had a white
face, dark grey eyes, hair of
an indeterminate colour, and pro-
minent, irregular features. He talked
rather louder than was
needful, and thrust his hands deeply into his
pockets. His collar
was frayed and blue with the starch of a careless
laundress, his
clothes were evidently ready-made, and there was a patch on
the
side of his boot near the toe. And as he talked or listened to the
others, he glanced now and again towards the lecture theatre door.
They were discussing the depressing peroration of the lecture
they had
just heard, the last lecture it was in the introductory
course in zoology.
” From ovum to ovum is the goal of the
higher vertebrata,” the lecturer
had said in his melancholy tones,
and so had neatly rounded off the sketch
of comparative anatomy
he
he had been developing. The spectacled hunchback had repeated
it, with
noisy appreciation, had tossed it towards the fair-haired
student with an
evident provocation, and had started one of
those vague, rambling
discussions on generalities, so unaccountably
dear to the student mind all
the world over.
” That is our goal, perhaps—I admit it—as far as science goes,”
said the fair-haired student, rising to the challenge. ” But there
are things above science.”
“Science,” said Hill, confidently, “is systematic knowledge.
Ideas that
don’t come into the system—must anyhow—be loose
ideas.” He
was not quite sure whether that was a clever saying
or a fatuity until his
hearers took it seriously.
The thing I cannot understand,” said the hunchback, at large,
” is whether
Hill is a materialist or not.”
” There is one thing above matter,” said Hill, promptly, feeling
he had a
better thing this time, aware, too, of someone in the
doorway behind him,
and raising his voice a trifle for her benefit,
” and that is, the
delusion that there is something above matter.”
” So we have your gospel at last,” said the fair student. ” It’s
all a
delusion, is it ? All our aspirations to lead something more
than dogs’
lives, all our work for anything beyond ourselves. But
see how
inconsistent you are. Your socialism, for instance. Why
do you trouble
about the interests of the race ? Why do you
concern yourself about the
beggar in the gutter ? Why are you
bothering yourself to lend that
book”—he indicated William Morris
by a movement of the
head—” to everyone in the lab. ? ”
” Girl,” said the hunchback, indistinctly, and glanced guiltily
over his
shoulder.
The girl in brown, with the brown eyes, had come into the
laboratory, and
stood on the other side of the table behind him,
with her rolled-up apron
in one hand, looking over her shoulder,
listening
listening to the discussion. She did not notice the hunchback,
because she
was glancing from Hill to his interlocutor. Hill’s
consciousness of her
presence betrayed itself to her only in his
studious ignorance of the fact
; but she understood that, and it
pleased her. ” I see no reason,” said
he, ” why a man should live
like a brute because he knows of nothing
beyond matter, and does
not expect to exist a hundred years hence.”
” Why shouldn’t he ? ” said the fair-haired student.
” Why should he ? ” said Hill.
” What inducement has he ? ”
” That’s the way with all you religious people. It’s all a
business of
inducements. Cannot a man seek after righteousness
for righteousness’ sake
? ”
There was a pause. The fair man answered with a kind of
vocal padding, ”
But—you see—inducement—when I said induce-
ment,” to
gain time. And then the hunchback came to his
rescue and inserted a
question. He was a terrible person in the
debating society with his
questions, and they invariably took one
form—a demand for a
definition. ” What’s your definition of
righteousness ? ” said the
hunchback at this stage.
Hill experienced a sudden loss of complacency at this question,
but even as
it was asked relief came in the person of Brooks, the
laboratory
attendant, who entered by the preparation-room door,
carrying a number of
freshly killed guinea-pigs by their hind legs,
” This is the last batch of
material this session,” said the youngster,
who had not previously spoken.
Brooks advanced up the laboratory,
smacking down a couple of guinea-pigs
at each table. The rest
of the class, scenting the prey from afar, came
crowding in by the
lecture theatre door, and the discussion perished
abruptly as the
students who were not already in their places hurried to
them to
secure the choice of a specimen. There was a noise of keys
rattling
on
on split rings as lockers were opened and dissecting instruments
taken out.
Hill was already standing by his table, and his box of
scalpels was
sticking out of his pocket. The girl in brown came
a step towards him,
and, leaning over his table, said softly : ” Did
you see that I returned
your book, Mr. Hill ? ”
During the whole scene she and the book had been vividly
present in his
consciousness ; but he made a clumsy pretence of
looking at the book and
seeing it for the first time. ” Oh, yes,”
he said, taking it up. ” I see.
Did you like it ? ”
” I want to ask you some questions about it—sometime.”
“Certainly,” said Hill. “I shall be glad.” He stopped
awkwardly. ” You
liked it ? ” he said.
” It’s a wonderful book. Only some things I don’t under-
stand.”
Then suddenly the laboratory was hushed by a curious braying
noise. It was
the demonstrator. He was at the blackboard ready
to begin the day’s
instruction, and it was his custom to demand
silence by a sound midway
between the ” Er ” of common inter-
course and the blast of a trumpet. The
girl in brown slipped
back to her place ; it was immediately in front of
Hill’s, and Hill,
forgetting her forthwith, took a note-book out of the
drawer of
his table, turned over its leaves hastily, drew a stumpy pencil
from
his pocket, and prepared to make a copious note of the coming
demonstration. For demonstrations and lectures are the sacred text
of the
college students. Books, saving only the Professor’s own,
you
may—it is even expedient to—ignore.
Hill was the son of a Landport cobbler, and had been hooked
by a chance
blue paper the authorities had thrown out to the
Landport Technical
Colege. He kept himself in London on his
allowance of a guinea a week, and
found that, with proper care,
this
this also covered his clothing allowance, an occasional water-
proof collar,
that is ; and ink and needles and cotton, and such-
like necessaries for a
man about town. This was his first year
and his first session, but the
brown old man in Landport had
already got himself detested in many
public-houses by boasting of
his son, ” the professor.” Hill was a vigorous
youngster, with a
serene contempt for the clergy of all denominations, and
a fine
ambition to reconstruct the world. He regarded his scholarship
as a brilliant opportunity. He had begun to read at seven, and
had
read steadily whatever came in his way, good or bad, since
then. His
worldly experience had been limited to the Island of
Portsea, and acquired
chiefly in the wholesale boot factory in
which he had worked by day, after
passing the seventh standard
of the Board school. He had a considerable
gift of speech, as the
College Debating Society, which met amidst the
crushing
machines and mine models in the metallurgical theatre down-
stairs, already recognised, recognised by a violent battering of
desks
whenever he rose. And he was just at that fine emotional
age when life
opens at the end of a narrow pass like a broad valley
at one’s feet, full
of the promise of wonderful discoveries and
tremendous achievements. And
his own limitations, save that he
knew that he knew neither Latin nor
French, were all unknown
to him.
At first his interest had been divided pretty equally between his
biological work at the College and social and theological theoris-
ing, an
employment which he took in deadly earnest. Of a night,
when the big
museum, library was not open, he would sit on the
bed of his room in
Chelsea with his coat and a muffler on, and
write out the lecture notes
and revise his dissection memoranda,
until Thorpe called him out by a
whistle—the landlady objected
to open the door to attic
visitors—and then the two would go
prowling
prowling about the shadowy, shiny, gas-lit streets, talking, very
much in
the fashion of the sample just given, of the God Idea,
and Righteousness,
and Carlyle, and the Reorganisation of Society.
And, in the midst of it
all, Hill, arguing not only for Thorpe,
but for the casual passer-by,
would lose the thread of his argument
glancing at some pretty painted face
that looked meaningly at
him as he passed. Science and Righteousness ! But
once or
twice lately there had been signs that a third interest was
creep-
ing into his life, and he had found his attention wandering from
the fate of the mesoblastic somites or the probable meaning of the
blastopore, to the thought of the girl with the brown eyes who
sat at the
table before him.
She was a paying student ; she descended inconceivable social
altitudes to
speak to him. At the thought of the education she
must have had, and the
accomplishments she must possess, the
soul of Hill became abject within
him. She had spoken to him
first over a difficulty about the alisphenoid
of a rabbit’s skull, and
he had found that, in biology at least, he had no
reason for self-
abasement. And from that, after the manner of young
people
starting from any starting-point, they got to generalities, and
while Hill attacked her upon the question of socialism—some
instinct told him to spare her a direct assault upon her religion—
she was gathering resolution to undertake what she told herself
was his
aesthetic education. She was a year or two older than he,
though the
thought never occurred to him. The loan of News
from
Nowhere was the beginning of a series of cross loans. Upon
some
absurd first principle of his, Hill had never ” wasted time ”
upon poetry,
and it seemed an appalling deficiency to her. One
day in the lunch hour,
when she chanced upon him alone in the
little museum where the skeletons
were arranged, shamefully eat-
ing the bun that constituted his midday
meal, she retreated, and
returned
returned to lend him, with a slightly furtive air, a volume of
Browning. He
stood sideways towards her and took the book
rather clumsily, because he
was holding the bun in the other
hand. And in the retrospect his voice
lacked the cheerful clear-
ness he could have wished.
That occurred after the examination in comparative anatomy,
on the day
before the College turned out its students, and was
carefully locked up by
the officials, for the Christmas holidays.
The excitement of cramming for
the first trial of strength had
for a little while dominated Hill, to the
exclusion of his other
interests. In the forecasts of the result in which
everyone in-
dulged, he was surprised to find that no one regarded him as a
possible competitor for the Harvey Commemoration Medal, of
which
this and the two subsequent examinations disposed. It
was about this time
that Wedderburn, who so far had lived in-
conspicuously on the uttermost
margin of Hill’s perceptions,
began to take on the appearance of an
obstacle. By a mutual
agreement, the nocturnal prowlings with Thorpe
ceased for the
three weeks before the examination, and his landlady
pointed out
that she really could not supply so much lamp oil at the
price.
He walked to and fro from the College with little slips of
mnemonics
in his hand, lists of crayfish appendages, rabbits’ skull-bones,
and
vertebrate nerves, for example, and became a positive nuisance to
foot-passengers in the opposite direction.
But, by a natural reaction, Poetry and the girl with the brown
eyes ruled
the Christmas holiday. The pending results of the
examination became such
a secondary consideration that Hill
marvelled at his father’s excitement.
Even had he wished it,
there was no comparative anatomy to read in
Landport, and he
was too poor to buy books, but the stock of poets in the
library
was extensive, and Hill s attack was magnificently sustained. He
saturated
saturated himself with the fluent numbers of Longfellow and
Tennyson, and
fortified himself with Shakespeare ; found a
kindred soul in Pope, and a
master in Shelley, and heard and
fled the siren voices of Eliza Cook and
Mrs. Hemans. But he
read no more Browning, because he hoped for the loan
of other
volumes from Miss Haysman when he returned to London.
He walked from his lodgings to the College with that volume
of Browning in
his shiny black bag, and his mind teeming with
the finest general
propositions about poetry. Indeed, he framed
first this little speech and
then that with which to grace the re-
turn. The morning was an
exceptionally pleasant one for
London ; there was a clear, hard frost and
undeniable blue in the
sky, a thin haze softened every outline, and warm
shafts of sun-
light struck between the house-blocks and turned the sunny
side
of the street to amber and gold. In the hall of the College he
pulled off his glove and signed his name with fingers so stiff with
cold
that the characteristic dash under the signature he cultivated
became a
quivering line. He imagined Miss Haysman about him
everywhere. He turned
at the staircase, and there, below, he
saw a crowd struggling at the foot
of the notice-board. This,
possibly, was the biology list. He forgot
Browning and Miss
Haysman for the moment, and joined the scrimmage. And at
last,
with his cheek flattened against the sleeve of the man on the step
above him, he read the list.
CLASS I
H. J. Somers Wedderburn
William Hill
and thereafter followed a second class that is outside our present
sympathies. It was characteristic that he did not trouble to look
for
Thorpe on the Physics list, but backed out of the struggle at
once
once, and in a curious emotional state between pride over common
second-class humanity and acute disappointment at Wedderburn’s
success,
went on his way upstairs. At the top, as he was hanging
up his coat in the
passage, the zoological demonstrator, a young
man from Oxford who secretly
regarded him as a blatant
“mugger “of the very worst type, offered his
heartiest congratula-
tions.
At the laboratory door Hill stopped for a second to get his breath,
and
then entered. He looked straight up the laboratory and saw all
five girl
students grouped in their places, and Wedderburn, the once
retiring
Wedderburn, leaning rather gracefully against the window,
playing with the
blind tassel and talking, apparently to the five of
them. Now Hill could
talk bravely enough and even overbearingly
to one girl, and he could have
made a speech to a roomful of girls, but
this business of standing at ease
and appreciating, fencing, and return
ing quick remarks round a group was,
he knew, altogether beyond
him. Coming up the staircase his feelings for
Wedderburn had
been generous, a certain admiration perhaps, a willingness
to
shake his hand conspicuously and heartily as one who had fought
but the first round. But before Christmas Wedderburn had
never gone up to
that end of the room to talk. In a flash Hill’s
mist of vague excitement
condensed abruptly to a vivid dislike of
Wedderburn. Possibly his
expression changed. As he came up
to his place Wedderburn nodded
carelessly to him, and the others
glanced round. Miss Haysman looked at
him and away again, the
faintest touch of her eyes. ” I can’t agree with
you, Mr. Wedder-
burn,” she said.
” I must congratulate you on your first class, Mr. Hill,” said
the
spectacled girl in green, turning round and beaming at him.
” It’s nothing,” said Hill, staring at Wedderburn and Miss
Haysman talking
together, and eager to hear what they talked about.
The Yellow Book—Vol. VIII. O
” We
” We poor folks in the second class don’t think so,” said the girl
in
spectacles.
What was it Wedderburn was saying ? Something about
William Morris ! Hill
did not answer the girl in spectacles, and
the smile died out of his face.
He could not hear and failed to
see how he could ” cut in.” Confound
Wedderburn ! He sat
down, opened his bag, hesitated whether to return the
volume of
Browning forthwith, in the sight of all, and instead drew out
his
new notebooks for the short course in elementary botany that
was
now beginning, and which would terminate in February.
As he did so a fat,
heavy man, with a white face and pale grey
eyes, Bindon, the professor of
botany, who came up from Kew for
January and February, came in by the
lecture theatre door, and
passed, rubbing his hands together and smiling,
in silent affability
down the laboratory.
In the subsequent six weeks Hill experienced some very rapid
and curiously
complex emotional developments. For the most
part he had Wedderburn in
focus—a fact that Miss Haysman
never suspected. She told Hill (for
in the comparative privacy of
the museum she talked a good deal to him of
socialism and
Browning and general propositions), that she had met
Wedder-
burn at the house of some people she knew, and ” he’s inherited
his cleverness ; for his father, you know, is the great eye specialist.”
” My father is a cobbler,” said Hill, quite
irrelevantly, and
perceived the want of dignity even as he said it. But
the gleam
of jealousy did not offend her. She conceived herself the
funda-
mental source of it. He suffered bitterly from a sense of Wed-
derburn’s unfairness, and a realisation of his own handicap. Here
was this
Wedderburn had picked up a prominent man for a father,
and instead of his
losing so many marks on the score of that
advantage,
advantage, it was counted to him for righteousness ! And while
Hill had to
introduce himself and talk to Miss Haysman clumsily
over mangled
guinea-pigs in the laboratory, this Wedderburn, in
some backstairs way,
had access to her social altitudes and could
converse in a polished argot
that Hill understood perhaps but felt
incapable of speaking. Not of course
that he wanted to. Then
it seemed to Hill that for Wedderburn to come
there day after
day with cuffs unfrayed, neatly tailored, precisely
barbered, quietly
perfect, was in itself an ill-bred, sneering sort of
proceeding.
Moreover, it was a stealthy thing for Wedderburn to behave
insignificantly for a space, to mock modesty, to lead Hill to fancy
that he himself was beyond dispute the man of the year, and
then suddenly
to dart in front of him, and incontinently to swell
up in this fashion. In
addition to these things Wedderburn
displayed an increasing disposition to
join in any conversational
grouping that included Miss Haysman, and would
venture and
indeed seek occasion to pass opinions derogatory to Socialism
and
Atheism. He goaded Hill to incivilities by neat, shallow, and
exceedingly effective personalities about the socialist leaders, until
Hill hated Bernard Shaw s graceful egotisms, William Morris’s
limited
editions and luxurious wall-papers, and Walter Crane’s
charmingly absurd
ideal working men, about as much as he hated
Wedderburn. The dissertations
in the laboratory that had been his
glory in the previous term, became a
danger, degenerated into
inglorious tussles with Wedderburn, and Hill kept
to them only
out of an obscure perception that his honour was involved. In
the
debating society Hill knew quite clearly that, to a thunderous
accompaniment of banged desks, he could have pulverised Wedder-
burn. Only
Wedderburn never attended the debating society
to be pulverised,
because—nauseous affectation ! he ” dined late.”
You must not
imagine that these things presented themselves in
quite
quite such a crude form to Hill’s perception. Hill was a born
generaliser.
Wedderburn to him was not so much an individual
obstacle as a type, the
salient angle of a class. The economic
theories that, after infinite
ferment, had shaped themselves in Hill’s
mind, became abruptly concrete at
the contact. The world
became full of easy-mannered, graceful, gracefully
dressed, con-
versationally dexterous, finally shallow Wedderburns, Bishops
Wedderburn, Wedderburn M.P.s, Professors Wedderburn, Wed-
derburn
landlords, all with finger-bowl shibboleths and epigram-
matic cities of
refuge from a sturdy debater. And every one ill-
clothed or ill-dressed,
from the cobbler to the cab-runner, was a
man and a brother, a
fellow-sufferer, to Hill’s imagination. So
that he became, as it were, a
champion of the fallen and oppressed,
albeit to outward seeming only a
self-assertive, ill-mannered young
man, and an unsuccessful champion at
that. Again and again a
skirmish over the afternoon tea that the girl
students had inaugu-
rated, left Hill with flushed cheeks and a tattered
temper, and the
debating society noticed a new quality of sarcastic
bitterness in
his speeches.
You will understand now how it came about that, in the
interests of
humanity, Hill should demolish Wedderburn in the
forthcoming examination
and outshine him in the eyes of Miss
Haysman, and you will perceive, too,
how Miss Haysman fell into
some common feminine misconceptions. The
Hill-Wedderburn
quarrel, for in his unostentatious way Wedderburn
reciprocated
Hill’s ill-veiled rivalry, became a tribute to her
indefinable charm ;
she was the Queen of Beauty in a tournament of
scalpels and
stumpy pencils. To her confidential friend’s secret
annoyance, it
even troubled her conscience, for she was a good girl and
painfully
aware, from Ruskin and contemporary fiction, how entirely
men’s
activities are determined by women s attitudes. And if Hill never
by
by any chance mentioned the topic of love to her, she only
credited him
with the finer modesty for that omission.
So the time came on for the second examination, and Hill’s
increasing pallor
confirmed the general rumour that he was working
hard. In the aërated
bread shop near South Kensington Station
you would see him, breaking his
bun and sipping his milk, with
his eyes intent upon a paper of closely
written notes. In his bed-
room there were propositions about buds and
stems round his
looking-glass, a diagram to catch his eye, if soap should
chance to
spare it, above his washing basin. He missed several meetings of
the debating society, but he found the chance encounters with
Miss
Haysman in the spacious ways of the adjacent art museum,
or in the little
museum at the top of the College, or in the College
corridors, more
frequent and very restful. In particular, they used
to meet in a little
gallery full of wrought-iron chests and gates,
near the art library, and
there Hill used to talk under the gentle
stimulus of her flattering
attention, of Browning and his personal
ambitions. A characteristic she
found remarkable in him was his
freedom from avarice. He contemplated
quite calmly the prospect
of living all his life on an income below a
hundred pounds a year.
But he was determined to be famous, to make,
recognisably in his
own proper person, the world a better place to live
in. He took
Bradlaugh and John Burns for his leaders and models, poor,
even
impecunious, great men. But Miss Haysman thought that such
lives were deficient on the aesthetic side, by which, though she
did not
know it, she meant good wall paper and upholstery, pretty
books, tasteful
clothes, concerts, and meals nicely cooked and
respectfully served.
At last came the day of the second examination, and the pro-
fessor of
botany, a fussy, conscientious man, rearranged all the
tables in a long
narrow laboratory to prevent copying, and put his
demonstrator
demonstrator on a chair on a table (where he felt, he said, like a
Hindoo
god) to see all the cheating, and stuck a notice outside the
door, ” Door
closed,” for no earthly reason that any human being
could discover. And
all the morning from ten till one the quill
of Wedderburn shrieked
defiance at Hill’s, and the quills of the
others chased their leaders in a
tireless pack, and so also it was in
the afternoon. Wedderburn was a
little quieter than usual, and
Hill’s face was hot all day, and his
overcoat bulged with text-books
and note-books against the last moment’s
revision. And the next
day, in the morning and in the afternoon, was the
practical exami-
nation when sections had to be cut and slides identified.
In the
morning Hill was depressed because he knew he had cut a thick
section, and in the afternoon came the mysterious slip.
It was just the kind of thing that the botanical professor was
always
doing. Like the income tax, it offered a premium to the
cheat. It was a
preparation under the microscope, a little glass
slip, held in its place
on the stage of the instrument by light steel
clips, and the inscription
set forth that the slip was not to be
moved. Each student was to go in
turn to it, sketch it, write in
his book of answers what he considered it
to be, and return to his
place. Now, to move such a slip is a thing one
can do by a
chance movement of the finger, and in a fraction of a second.
The professor’s reason for decreeing that the slip should not be
moved depended on the fact that the object he wanted identified
was
characteristic of a certain tree stem. In the position in
which it was
placed it was a difficult thing to recognise, but once
the slip was moved
so as to bring other parts of the preparation
into view, its nature was
obvious enough.
Hill came to this, flushed from a contest with staining re-agents,
sat down
on the little stool before the microscope, turned the
mirror to get the
best light, and then, out of sheer habit, shifted
the
the slip. At once he remembered the prohibition, and, with an
almost
continuous motion of his hands, moved it back, and sat
paralysed with
astonishment at his action.
Then, slowly, he turned his head. The professor was out of
the room ; the
demonstrator sat aloft on his impromptu rostrum,
reading the Q. Jour. Mi. Sci. , the rest of the examinees were
busy, and with their backs to him. Should he own up to the
accident
now ? He knew quite clearly what the thing was. It
was a lenticel, a
characteristic preparation from the elder-tree.
His eyes roved over his
intent fellow-students, and Wedderburn
suddenly glanced over his shoulder
at him with a queer expression
in his eyes. The mental excitement that had
kept Hill at an
abnormal pitch of vigour these two days gave way to a
curious
nervous tension. His book of answers was beside him. He did
not write down what the thing was, but with one eye at the
microscope he
began making a hasty sketch of it. His mind was
full of this grotesque
puzzle in ethics that had suddenly been
sprung upon him. Should he
identify it f or should he leave this
question unanswered f In that case
Wedderburn would probably
come out first in the second result. How could
he tell now
whether he might not have identified the thing without
shifting
it ? It was possible that Wedderburn had failed to recognise it,
of course. Suppose Wedderburn, too, had shifted the slide ? He
looked up at the clock. There were fifteen minutes in which to
make up his
mind. He gathered up his book of answers, and the
coloured pencils he used
in illustrating his replies, and walked back
to his seat.
He read through his manuscript, and then sat thinking and
gnawing his
knuckle. It would look queer now if he owned up.
He must beat Wedderburn. He forgot the examples of those
starry
gentlemen, John Burns and Bradlaugh. Besides, he re-
flected
flected, the glimpse of the rest of the slip he had had was, after all,
quite accidental, forced upon him by chance, a kind of providential
revelation rather than an unfair advantage. It was not nearly so
dishonest
to avail himself of that as it was of Broome, who
believed in the efficacy
of prayer, to pray daily for a first-class.
” Five minutes more,” said the
demonstrator, folding up his paper
and becoming observant. Hill watched
the clock hands until two
minutes remained ; then he opened the book of
answers, and, with
hot ears and an affectation of ease, gave his drawing
of the lenticel
its name.
When the second pass list appeared, the previous positions of
Wedderburn
and Hill were reversed, and the spectacled girl in
green, who knew the
demonstrator in private life (where he was
practically human), said that
in the result of the two examinations
taken together Hill had the
advantage of a mark—167 to 166 out
of a possible 200. Every one
admired Hill in a way, though the
suspicion of ” mugging ” clung to him.
But Hill was to find
congratulations and Miss Haysman’s enhanced opinion
of him, and
even the decided decline in the crest of Wedderburn tainted by
an
unhappy memory. He felt a remarkable access of energy at first,
and the note of a democracy marching to triumph returned to his
debating
society speeches ; he worked at his comparative anatomy
with tremendous
zeal and effect, and he went on with his aesthetic
education. But through
it all, a vivid little picture was continually
coming before his mind’s
eye—of a sneakish person manipulating a
slide.
No human being had witnessed the act, and he was cocksure
that no higher
power existed to see it ; but for all that it worried
him. Memories are
not dead things, but alive ; they dwindle in
disuse, but they harden and
develop in all sorts of queer ways if
they
they are being continually fretted. Curiously enough, though at
the time he
perceived clearly that the shifting was accidental, as
the days wore on his
memory became confused about it, until at
last he was not
sure—although he assured himself that he was
sure
—whether the movement had been absolutely involuntary. Then
it is possible that Hill’s dietary was conducive to morbid con-
scientiousness ; a breakfast frequently eaten in a hurry, a midday
bun,
and, at such hours after five as chanced to be convenient, such
meat as
his means determined, usually in a chop-house, in a back
street off the
Brompton Road. Occasionally he treated himself
to threepenny or ninepenny
classics, and they usually represented
a suppression of potatoes or chops.
It is indisputable that out-
breaks of self-abasement and emotional revival
have a distinct
relation to periods of scarcity. But apart from this
influence on
the feelings, there was in Hill a distinct aversion to
falsity that
the blasphemous Landport cobbler had inculcated by strap and
tongue from his earliest years. Of one fact about professed
Atheists
I am convinced ; they may be—they usually are—fools,
void of
subtlety, revilers of holy institutions, brutal speakers, and
mischievous
knaves, but they lie with difficulty. If it were not
so, if they had the
faintest grasp of the idea of compromise, they
would simply be liberal
Churchmen. And, moreover, this memory
poisoned his regard for Miss
Haysman. For she now so evidently
preferred him to Wedderburn that he felt
sure he cared for her,
and began reciprocating her attentions by timid
marks of personal
regard ; at one time he even bought a bunch of violets,
carried it
about in his pocket, and produced it, with a stumbling
explanation,
withered and dead, in the gallery of old iron. It poisoned,
too,
the denunciation of capitalist dishonesty that had been one of his
life’s pleasures. And lastly, it poisoned his triumph in Wedderburn.
Previously he had been Wedderburn’s superior in his own eyes,
and
and had raged simply at a want of recognition. Now he began
to fret at the
darker suspicion of positive inferiority. He fancied
he found
justifications for his position in Browning, but they
vanished on
analysis. At last—moved, curiously enough, by
exactly the same
motive forces that had resulted in his dishonesty
—he went to
Professor Bindon, and made a clean breast of the
whole affair. As Hill was
a paid student Professor Bindon did not
ask him to sit down, and he stood
before the Professor’s desk as he
made his confession.
” It’s a curious story,” said Professor Bindon, slowly realising
how the
thing reflected on himself, and then letting his anger
rise : ” A most
remarkable story. I can’t understand your doing
it, and I can’t understand
this avowal. You’re a type of student
—Cambridge men would never
dream—I suppose I ought to
have thought—Why did you cheat ? ”
” I didn’t—cheat,” said Hill.
” But you have just been telling me you did.”
” I thought I explained—
” Either you cheated or you did not cheat.”
” I said my motion was involuntary.”
” I am not a metaphysician, I am a servant of science—of fact.
You
were told not to move the slip. You did move the slip. If
that is not
cheating—”
” If I was a cheat,” said Hill, with the note of hysterics in his
voice, ”
should I come here and tell you ? ”
” Your repentance of course does you credit,” said Professor
Bindon, ” but
it does not alter the original facts.”
” No, sir,” said Hill, giving in in utter self-abasement.
” Even now you cause an enormous amount of trouble. The
examination list
will have to be revised.”
” I suppose so, sir.”
“Suppose
” Suppose so ! Of course it must be revised. And I don’t see
how I can
conscientiously pass you.”
” Not pass me ! ” said Hill. ” Fail me ! ”
” It’s the rule in all examinations. Or where should we be ?
What else did
you expect ? You don’t want to shirk the conse-
quences of your own acts ?
:
“I thought, perhaps,” said Hill. And then, “Fail me! I
thought as I told
you, you would simply deduct the marks given
for that
slip——”
” Impossible ! ” said Bindon. ” Besides, it would still leave
you above
Wedderburn. Deduct only the marks—Preposterous !
The Departmental
Regulations distinctly say——”
” But it’s my own admission, sir.”
” The Regulations say nothing whatever of the manner in
which the matter
comes to light. They simply provide——”
” It will ruin me. If I fail this examination, they won’t renew
my
scholarship.”
” You should have thought of that before.”
” But, sir, consider all my circumstances——”
” I cannot consider anything. Professors in this college are
machines. The
Regulations will not even let us recommend our
students for appointments.
I am a machine, and you have worked
me. I have to do——”
” It’s very hard, sir.”
” Possibly it is.”
” If I am to be failed this examination I might as well go home
at once.”
” That is as you think proper.” Bindon’s voice softened a little ;
he
perceived he had been unjust, and, provided he did not contra-
dict
himself, he was disposed to amelioration. “As a private
person,” he said,
” I think this confession of yours goes far to
mitigate
mitigate your offence. But you have set the machinery in motion
and now it
must take its course. I—I am really sorry you gave
way.”
A wave of emotion prevented Hill from answering. Suddenly
very vividly he
saw the heavily lined face of the old Landport
cobbler, his father. ” Good
God ! What a fool I have been ! ”
he said hotly and abruptly.
” I hope,” said Bindon, ” that it will be a lesson to you.”
But curiously enough they were not thinking of quite the same
indiscretion.
There was a pause.
” I would like a day to think, sir, and then I will let you know
—about going home, I mean,” said Hill, moving towards the
door.
The next day Hill’s place was vacant. The spectacled girl in
green was, as
usual, first with the news. Wedderburn and Miss
Haysman were talking of a
performance of the Meistersingers
when she came up to them.
” Have you heard ? ” she said.
” Heard what ? “
” There was cheating in the examination.”
” Cheating ! ” said Wedderburn, with his face suddenly hot.
” How ? ”
” That slide——”
” Moved ? Never ! “
” It was. That slide that we weren’t to move——”
” Nonsense ! ” said Wedderburn. ” Why ! How could they
find out ? Who do
they say——? ”
” It was Mr. Hill.”
” Hill ! ”
” Mr.
” Mr. Hill ! ”
” Not—surely not the immaculate Hill ? ” said Wedderburn,
recovering.”
” I don’t believe it,” said Miss Haysman. ” How do you
know ? ”
” I didn’t,” said the girl in spectacles. ” But I know
it now
for a fact. Mr. Hill went and confessed to Professor Bindon
himself.”
” By Jove ! ” said Wedderburn. ” Hill of all people. But I
am always
inclined to distrust these philanthropists-on-prin-
ciple——
” Are you quite sure ? ” said Miss Haysman, with a catch in
her breath.
” Quite. It’s dreadful, isn’t it ? But you know, what can
you expect ? His
father is a cobbler.”
Then Miss Haysman astonished the girl in spectacles.
” I don’t care. I will not believe it,” she said, flushing darkly
under her
warm tinted skin. ” I will not believe it until he has
told me so
himself—face to face. I would scarcely believe it
then,” and
abruptly she turned her back on the girl in spectacles,
and walked to her
own place.
” It’s true, all the same,” said the girl in spectacles, peering and
smiling at Wedderburn.
But Wedderburn did not answer her. She was indeed one of
those people who
are destined to make unanswered remarks.
MLA citation:
Wells, H. G. “A Slip under the Microscope.” The Yellow Book, vol. 8, January 1896, pp. 229-85. Yellow Book Digital Edition, edited by Dennis Denisoff and Lorraine Janzen Kooistra, 2010-2014. Yellow Nineties 2.0, Ryerson University Centre for Digital Humanities, 2020. https://1890s.ca/YBV8_wells_microscope/