Menu Close


The End of an Episode

ALAN DREW, the novelist, had gone blind. And the ladies
who had come to inquire after him sat and discussed the
matter over their afternoon tea. Most of the people from the
country round who had come with the same object had gone away
baffled by his uncompromising attitude ; for Allan Drew had
never cultivated the particular set of social emotions which were
demanded by his present situation ; and he had no intention of
helping the people, who bored him, to get through a formula of
compassion that he did not want. So this afternoon he sat and
listened in silence while his visitors talked with conviction about a
trial of which they had not the least experience.

” It is difficult, sometimes, to understand the workings of
Providence, but—” said the Rector’s wife. In spite of the years
of practice that she must have had in the work of consolation, she
did not seem to be getting on very well now.

To the novelist she appeared to be wavering between an
inclination to treat him like a villager who had to be patronised
and a Parish Councillor who had to be propitiated.

” Almost impossible, yes,” said Allan Drew, and he shifted his
position wearily.

” I think Fate is sometimes kinder than she seems at first sight,”


                        256 The End of an Episode

said the Squire’s wife, who had read some modern novels, and
therefore did not talk of Providence.

” No doubt there are instances,” assented the blind man
patiently, and he wondered vaguely why the third lady whom they
had indistinctly mentioned to him on their arrival had not spoken
at all. He had not lost his sight long, and it worried him to be
unable to attach any kind of personality to her.

” Loss of physical sight may sometimes mean a gain of spiritual
perception,” the Rector’s wife laboured onwards. She sometimes
copied out her husband’s sermons for him, and she had dropped
unawares into the phraseology.

” It is to be hoped there are compensations,” said her host, and
he turned towards the sofa where he imagined his unknown guest
to be sitting.

The third lady spoke at last.

” I suppose there’s some good in being blind, as you both
seem to think so, but I don’t know where it comes in, I’m
sure ; and I’m perfectly certain nothing can make up for it
for all that,” she said, not very clearly ; but the novelist hailed
her incoherence with relief, and recognised the human note
in it.

” Nothing can,” he said, and nodded in her direction.

The third lady went on :

” I wonder, have you tried Dr. Middleton ? ” His countenance
fell again. After all, she was only like everybody else.

” Oh no, I haven’t tried him, nor any one else you are likely to
mention,” he answered with a touch of impatience.

” Haven’t you, really ? Now I call that rather a pity; don’t you ? “

” Oh, very likely,” he said indifferently, and waited for them
to go. The Squire’s wife was the first to move, and she pressed
his hand warmly and made the unnecessary remark that her


                        By Evelyn Sharp 257

husband would come and read the paper to him as usual in the
morning. The Squire had a blatant voice, and thought it
necessary to read with a great deal of expression, and always
mistook the novelist’s affliction for deafness.

” I shall be delighted,” said Allan in a spiritless voice.

But after all it was not the Squire who came to read the
Times to him on the following morning. It was the unknown
lady of the night before ; and she knocked at his door just as the
housekeeper was clearing away the breakfast.

” The Squire has a cold,” she explained, with the faintest
suggestion of laughter in her voice, ” and I said I would come
instead. It is so unpleasant to read to any one if you’ve got a
cold, isn’t it ? It makes so many interruptions.”

” It is very unpleasant to be read to by the Squire when the
Squire has got a cold,” said Allan, boldly. Somehow the reading
did not promise to be quite as dull as usual.

” Where shall I begin ? ” she said, disregarding his remark
altogether ; ” I read atrociously, you know, but I hope you won’t
mind that.”

” How do you expect me to believe it ? ” he said, and suggested
that she should begin with the Foreign News.

She had not under-estimated her powers. She had all the
tricks of which a bad reader is capable. She made two or three
attempts at every word that baffled her, and said, ” Oh, bother ! “
at the end of each. She forgot to read out any of the explanatory
headings, and she rushed through the politics on the Continent as
though they all related to one nation whose name she had not
mentioned. She frequently read a few lines to herself and then
continued aloud further on, while her listener had to supply the
context for himself.

” That’s the end of the Foreign News,” she said presently, to


                        258 The End of an Episode

Allan’s intense relief. ” I think politics are very difficult to
understand ; don’t you ? ”

” I find them most bewildering,” he confessed, and he had to
wait patiently a little longer while she read the rest of the news
to herself and made many comments on it out aloud ; and he was
quite willing to believe her when she told him presently that
there was absolutely nothing in the paper.

” Never mind about the paper, I’ve had quite enough,” he said ;
” won’t you talk instead ? ”

” What a good idea,” she said ; ” I’ll tell you all the news, shall I ?
There’s going to be a temperance meeting in the schoolroom to-
morrow, and I’m going for a walk on Blackcliff Hill this afternoon.”

” I always walk on Blackcliff Hill myself in the afternoon,”
murmured Allan in parenthesis.

” The Squire has got a cold—oh, I told you that,” she went on.
” And let me see, is there anything else ? I know there was a
tremendous fuss about something before I got up this morning ;
somebody took a horse somewhere and broke it somehow or
another, its knees or the harness or something, and I came down
late to breakfast. That really is all. Did you ever know such a
place as this ? ”

” Oh, but that isn’t nearly all,” he protested with a smile.

” Why, what else ? “

” Well—yourself,” he said, and put his leg over the arm of his
chair and turned his face in her direction.

” Oh, but that’s so dull,” she said hastily ; ” and besides, there
isn’t anything to tell—there isn’t really.”

” Yet you have lived,” he said slowly, ” lived, and perhaps
suffered a little as well.”

” Well, I suppose I have had my share,” she said with the
necessary sigh.

                                                ” And

                        By Evelyn Sharp 259

” And in all probability loved.”

” Loved ! Oh, well, of course, every one has—and besides “——
she interrupted again.

” Very possibly hated,” he went on deliberately.

” We-ell, perhaps, I don’t—well.”

” Then let’s hear all about it,” he said encouragingly.

It seemed really unkind to refuse any one in so sad a situation.

” But,” she said wavering, ” there’s such a lot: where shall I
begin ? ”

” I acknowledge that is a difficulty,” he said, weighing the
matter carefully, ” but perhaps if you were to choose one episode.”

” One episode, yes,” she said, pondering.

” Taken from an interesting period of your life, before you
were so old as to——”

” I really do think——” she burst out angrily.

Allan hastened to explain that his estimate of her age, being
based entirely upon what he knew of her wit and understanding,
and not upon her personal appearance, was most probably ex-

” But what kind of episode ? ” she pursued reluctantly.

” Oh, well, that I will leave to you,” he said politely; and he
found his way to the window, still with his face towards her.

” Before I was married or after ? ” she asked.

” Well, I should say decidedly after. The probability is that
you married very young, so that the episodes, if there really were
any, came later on. And I should say that, not very long after
either, you may have gone away together to the seaside, where
the weather was bad and the days were long, and you began to
feel rather bored. And then, let us suppose that your husband
was called up to town unexpectedly ; and some one else, who was
young too, and bored too, staying in the same seaside place——”

                                                ” Really,

                        260 The End of an Episode

” Really, Mr. Drew ! ” cried the other, ” one might almost
suppose that you knew more about it than I do ! ”

” One almost might,” he agreed, ” shall I go on ? Let me see,
where was I ? Oh, the advent of the other young person, who
was also bored. He would probably be an artist of some kind, or
perhaps dabble in a profession.”

” A novelist ? ” she suggested.

He bowed his head smilingly.

” For the purposes of argument we will call him a novelist.
And this young novelist may have met you perhaps, and you may
have gone for long walks together.”

” All along the cliff,” she murmured.

” And talked Art together ? “

” All about the novel that wasn’t published then,” she added.

” And your husband became still more neglectful.”

” And the novelist still more persistent,” she put in.

” And the situation developed daily and hourly until your

” Came back by the midday train one Saturday,” she said,
resting her chin on her hand.

” And the aspiring novelist had to pack up the novel that was
not then published and—”

” And he had to go right away, and he never came back,” she
cried, suddenly starting up and walking over to the other window,
where she remained standing with her back to him.

” Yes ? ” said Allan with a smile, ” then it was nothing but an
ordinary episode after all.”

There was a little pause, which she occupied by throwing the
blind-tassel about.

” Mr. Drew, why did you make up all that nonsense ? ” she
said suddenly.


                        By Evelyn Sharp 261

” It was nonsense then ? “

” Why did you make it up, and talk as if—as if it really
happened—to somebody—once.

” Why ? ” he said carelessly. ” Oh, because I suppose it did
really happen to somebody—once. Didn’t it ? ”

The next pause lasted longer.

” I thought you didn’t know,” she muttered presently.

The blind-tassel was flying wildly through the air. He laughed

” I didn’t. At least, not until you began to read.”

” At all events, you have not altered much,” she retorted, and
the blind-tassel came off in her hand.

” Well, I never,” said the Squire’s wife from the door-

” I have knocked three times. And you don’t seem to be
reading the paper either. You were talking just as though you
had known one another all your lives.”

” I believe we were,” assented the novelist.

” You see,” exclaimed his companion elaborately, ” we have
just discovered that we met on the East Coast once, ever so long
ago, soon after I was married. Isn’t it odd ? ”

” In fact, a coincidence,” said Allan, to help her out.

The Squire’s wife looked as though she did not believe in
coincidences much.

” How very strange,” she said ; ” but why in the world didn’t
you say so last night, Everilde ? ”

After that, the Squire’s wife and Mrs. Witherington did all the
talking between them. But Allan managed to get in a word just
as they were leaving.

” And what time did you say you would be walking on Black-
cliff Hill ? ” he murmured.

                                                ” Ah,”

                        262 The End of an Episode

” Ah,” she answered with a laugh. “But I am older now, and
Blackcliff Hill is not the East Coast.”

” And the novel is published,” he said ; and he added to himself
as they walked away : ” I wonder if her husband is still——
Anyhow, I’m not going to find out.”

But Everilde Witherington was careful to let him know at
their next meeting, which, by the way, did not take place on
Blackcliff Hill, that her husband had gone abroad, and that she
had come to stay with her great friend, the Squire’s wife, to
recover from the effects of influenza. After that the conversation
flagged a little, and the interview was not such a success as the
last one had been.

” You two don’t seem to have much to talk about,” said the
Squire’s wife, who was present ; ” what’s the use of being old
friends ? ”

” There isn’t any use,” said the novelist, ” all the old subjects
are used up, and we are not in touch with the new ones.”

” And besides,” added Mrs. Witherington, ” the fact of your
supposing us to be old friends prevents your joining in the conver-
sation, although you are there all the time, don’t you see.”

” Oh, yes I see, thank you,” said the Squire’s wife; ” two’s
company, three’s none.”

” Oh dear, no, I didn’t mean that, really,” said her friend; ” and
besides, that entirely depends on the other two. Some of the best
times I have ever had have been with two other people.”

” I should like to ask the two other people about that,” said

About a month later they really did meet one evening on
Blackcliff Hill, and this time without the Squire’s wife.

Blackcliff Hill was a smooth, round chalk rising, covered with
gorse and bramble and springy turf, a broad expanse of green


                        By Evelyn Sharp 263

slopes and hollows without a peak or a suggestion of grandeur or
barrenness, a hill like a hundred other hills, with a soft fresh breeze
that lingered over it without ruffling its surface.

” How did you know it was me ? ” she said when he called out
to her.

” I always know,” he answered in a tone which sounded as
though he had not wasted his time during the past month.

” Oh,” she said as their hands met, ” I came up to see the sun-
set, you know.”

” So did I—at least,” he said, and smiled.

” The air is very pleasant up here ; you can see three counties
—I mean one can—I’m so sorry,” she stammered.

” It’s a favourite walk of mine,” he went on as they strolled
through the bracken ; ” I like the placid conventionality of the

” That’s just what I don’t like,” she burst out impatiently ; ” I
would much rather have boulders, and miles of heather, and no
haystacks, or cornfields, or chimneys.”

” The East Coast for instance ? ” he suggested, and she subsided
into a careful study of the three counties.

” Why do you look at me as though you could see my face ? “
she asked him presently.

” I like to think I can, for the sake of the old times,” he
answered lightly.

” Oh, those old times ! ” she cried; ” how fond you are of
dragging them up. Why can’t you leave them alone ? ”

” Yes, I suppose it is rather invidious,” he said solemnly, ” now
that they are gone.”

” Yes, now that they are gone,” she echoed, also solemnly.

He laughed outright.

” What a comedy it all is ! Do you remember how we lived


                        264 The End of an Episode

for days, with that midday train on Saturday hanging over our
heads ? And now that there is no one else to prevent us from
loving each other—”

” What do you mean ? ” she said quickly. He laughed again
and felt for her hand, and took it between his.

” Mean ? Do you suppose I haven’t known it for a whole
month, you foolish—”

” Who told you,” she asked, and her thoughts flew to the
Squire’s wife.

” Oh, never mind that. Now, please, I want to know why
you didn’t tell me you were a widow ? Were you afraid of
me ? ”

” What an idea ! “

” Then I suppose it was a miserable truce with respectability
to enable you to patronise the broken-down novelist without

” Allan ! How dare you ? ” she cried, and snatched her hand
away. He put his into his pockets, and strolled on.

” Well, you must own it is slightly unaccountable. I thought
it was one of your impetuous freaks at first. But you kept it up
too long for that. And then I put it down in my vanity to your
liking me a little still, and wishing to conceal it. But I was soon
dispossessed of that idea. And then finally—”

” How prosy you are,” she grumbled, ” you are not half so
amusing as you used to be.”

” No, we don’t seem to hit it quite so well as we did then, do
we ? You see, you were in love with me, and I—”

” You know I never said so once ! “

” And we had plenty to talk about. But our conversation is
mostly sticky now.”

” There isn’t the novel any more,” she said.

                                                ” Nor

                        By Evelyn Sharp 265

” Nor the husband,” he rejoined ruthlessly.

They sat down near the top of the hill, and wished for the
Squire’s wife.

” It’s very odd,” said the novelist.

” Odd ? I call it dull.”

” Dull, then, if you like. I wonder who invented the ridicu-
lous idea of two people marrying and living happily ever after.
It must have been the first man who wrote for money.”

” All the same, I’m rather disappointed,” said Mrs. Withering-
ton, gazing steadily at the three counties.

” What about ? That you can’t fall in love with me now
that there is nothing against our marrying ? ”

” Oh no, not that,” she said.

” What then ? “

” Oh, well, only that I hoped, just a little you know, that you
might still like me enough to—to ask me, so that I could—oh,
bother ! ”

” So that you could have the intense pleasure of refusing me ?
Sorry I disappointed you.”

” We can go on being chums, though, can’t we ? ” she sug-
gested, pulling up handfuls of moss.

” Oh, don’t,” he groaned, ” do be a little more original than
that. You are not writing for money, are you ? ”

” Then,” she cried desperately, ” there is nothing left but the
sunset ; and what’s the use of that when you can’t see it ? ”

” Can’t I ? ” he said in a curious tone, ” don’t I know that it
has just got down to the line of fir-trees along the canal, and is
streaking across the cornfield, and making the hills on this side
look warm ? ”

He was sheltering his eyes from the sun with his hand as he
spoke, and Everilde turned and stared at him suddenly.

                                                ” Allan,”

                        266 The End of an Episode

” Allan,” she cried, catching at his hand and pulling it down,
” Allan, you can—you—”

” Yes,” he said with a laugh, squeezing her fingers indiffer-
ently because they happened to be in his, ” yes. I did try Dr.
Middleton after all.”

” I never thought you could be blind for long,” she muttered,
” if it had been any one else, now—but why did you keep it to
yourself ? ”

He laughed heartily as he stretched himself out lazily on the
grass and tilted his hat forward.

” Do you really want to know ? Because I wanted to have
my secret too—that’s all. You see, I thought that if I were blind
and helpless and all that sort of thing, you might get to care a
little, don’t you see, and—”

” Then we were both disappointed,” she said with a note of
triumph in her voice. ” I’m rather glad of that.”

” Dr. Middleton ? ” she said presently to the three counties.
” Then, if it hadn’t been for me—”

But no one finished her sentence, for Allan Drew had suddenly
bethought him of a cigarette.

MLA citation:

Sharp, Evelyn. “The End of an Episode.” The Yellow Book, vol. 4, January 1895, pp. 255-266. Yellow Book Digital Edition, edited by Dennis Denisoff and Lorraine Janzen Kooistra, 2010-2014. Yellow Nineties 2.0, Ryerson University Centre for Digital Humanities, 2019.